Thursday, February 28, 2008
QUAKE AWAKENING
the night before i felt my room shaking a bit and it just so happened that there was an earthquake! the biggest in the uk for nearly 25 years. when i called my grandma, she had heard about it and was worried for me (mostly because it's her default state). it was so good to call home! she yelled at me in cantonese when i told her i didn't expect to have taken so long to adjust, it went something along the lines of me being ridiculous to think that i could forget about family and home so easily. i've definitely been forgetting, only because remembering can be so painful. i also made a few other calls and got to chat with linda, meagan, and tobes. i feel so fortunate to have good friends who can tell me exactly what i need to hear!
Monday, February 25, 2008
LEISURE/PLEASURE
the past few days and nights have been more or less exciting. friday night was guleraana's 25th birthday/quarter of a century celebration. cut copy was playing at fabric, but they had sold out and we didn't feel like waiting on standby when the line had no end in sight. i met her other friends, some of whom she stayed for a year in rio with about two years ago, so they knew carrie as well! determined to have a good night out, we went to brick lane and ended up spending most of our time at a bar called exit. we discovered that the bouncer was from staten island! and he even promised to just let us by the next time we visited.
on saturday afternoon, i hung out with eweh, whom i had met at ccil. she's from sweden and on her gap year to take classes in london and work. she came last september with a few of her friends to do a short photo program and then decided to stay when it was over after three months. her friends have left though, so she's sort of alone like i am. we met up at the photographer's gallery by leicester square for a curator's tour of four prizewinners. i especially liked the work of Fazal Sheikh, his images were starkly soft and quite beautiful. there was also a finnish hunter who photographed animals in color, he insisted that the frames be connected to each other.
rosie had invited me to a show that night hosted by platforms, an online magazine founded by one of her friends from high school. i took a look at the magazine and they had interviewed akron/family, guillemots, etc. so i had high hopes but it was a terrible show. the first band was from california and the female lead sang a song about bakersfield, california called "slow death." she even tap danced during the last song wtf. i wanted to kill her except her parents were at the table next to us and that wouldn't have been too nice. before i wanted to cut my ears off, i enjoyed some time spent with rosie's boyfriend andy and her friend emma. on the tube ride back to east london though, andy mistakened me for rosie when he reached back to hold her hand as we were walking down the platform. this is the second time that a friend's boyfriend has mistakened me for that friend. i am especially pained when this occurs due to my singlehood. most people i know here are in relationships! that most of them are younger than me only makes me feel like i will die alone.
on sunday, i went to two film screenings. one in the afternoon at cine lumiere of the french institute in south ken called silence of the palace, a tunisian film. the director was there for a question and answer, so our professor of "images of otherness in french and francophone cinema" organized the trip. the second film screening i went to was of still life, jia zhangke's latest work, at british film institute. i went alone, but managed to chat with a man next to me by the end of it. i didn't get back until eleven thirty or so, and didn't begin writing the 1,500 word essay i had due the next day at 4:00pm until about 1:00am. i do believe this is the first time i've felt comfortable slacking off. this would never ever happen at swarthmore as the sheer thought of handing in something i didn't feel was my best could be enough to make me vomit. i got it done to my satisfaction by around 3, though I only had about five hours of sleep.
anyway! these are my tentative traveling plans until i leave for new york, which i am now 80% sure i want to do (such mental calculations will be explained at a later post).
march: amsterdam and dublin for st. patty's when justine visits
april: paris for a week and a half to visit magali and michelle
early may: barcelona, valencia, madrid, and other stops for ten days alone because everyone i know who's going to spain is doing so with their boyfriends or meeting future boyfriends ughhhh
late may: berlin, prague, budapest, and vienna for ten days if magali joins me (but i might be desperate enough to see these places and go alone even though it would be dangerous, damnit why am i female)
on saturday afternoon, i hung out with eweh, whom i had met at ccil. she's from sweden and on her gap year to take classes in london and work. she came last september with a few of her friends to do a short photo program and then decided to stay when it was over after three months. her friends have left though, so she's sort of alone like i am. we met up at the photographer's gallery by leicester square for a curator's tour of four prizewinners. i especially liked the work of Fazal Sheikh, his images were starkly soft and quite beautiful. there was also a finnish hunter who photographed animals in color, he insisted that the frames be connected to each other.
rosie had invited me to a show that night hosted by platforms, an online magazine founded by one of her friends from high school. i took a look at the magazine and they had interviewed akron/family, guillemots, etc. so i had high hopes but it was a terrible show. the first band was from california and the female lead sang a song about bakersfield, california called "slow death." she even tap danced during the last song wtf. i wanted to kill her except her parents were at the table next to us and that wouldn't have been too nice. before i wanted to cut my ears off, i enjoyed some time spent with rosie's boyfriend andy and her friend emma. on the tube ride back to east london though, andy mistakened me for rosie when he reached back to hold her hand as we were walking down the platform. this is the second time that a friend's boyfriend has mistakened me for that friend. i am especially pained when this occurs due to my singlehood. most people i know here are in relationships! that most of them are younger than me only makes me feel like i will die alone.
on sunday, i went to two film screenings. one in the afternoon at cine lumiere of the french institute in south ken called silence of the palace, a tunisian film. the director was there for a question and answer, so our professor of "images of otherness in french and francophone cinema" organized the trip. the second film screening i went to was of still life, jia zhangke's latest work, at british film institute. i went alone, but managed to chat with a man next to me by the end of it. i didn't get back until eleven thirty or so, and didn't begin writing the 1,500 word essay i had due the next day at 4:00pm until about 1:00am. i do believe this is the first time i've felt comfortable slacking off. this would never ever happen at swarthmore as the sheer thought of handing in something i didn't feel was my best could be enough to make me vomit. i got it done to my satisfaction by around 3, though I only had about five hours of sleep.
anyway! these are my tentative traveling plans until i leave for new york, which i am now 80% sure i want to do (such mental calculations will be explained at a later post).
march: amsterdam and dublin for st. patty's when justine visits
april: paris for a week and a half to visit magali and michelle
early may: barcelona, valencia, madrid, and other stops for ten days alone because everyone i know who's going to spain is doing so with their boyfriends or meeting future boyfriends ughhhh
late may: berlin, prague, budapest, and vienna for ten days if magali joins me (but i might be desperate enough to see these places and go alone even though it would be dangerous, damnit why am i female)
WANDERING LONDON
with a spare afternoon here and there, i'll go wandering around london to explore neighborhoods. before my trip to bath and bristol, i walked for about two hours from tower bridge to southwark because it was a sunny day and i wanted to cross the thames. i mostly came across tourists, which was comforting in a way, maybe because they made me feel less foreign or reminded me that i'd be leaving too. i think i've only just begun to feel a part of london and london a part of me. i am certain that this is because i've made enough pleasant memories with people here and because i have gotten to know the city better. for me, it seems a place can only be made real through the personal relationships formed. given any amount of time anywhere, i suppose i could make those relationships, but there are still many people from my past that i miss dearly! these are the thoughts that come to mind during my walks.
under a bridge in southwark
i've also done a bit of walking around south kensington which is where the victoria and albert museum as well as the royal albert hall are located. the neighborhood is ridiculously wealthy- as i was walking through the residential areas, i turned a corner, and found a chanel store! it was like oh hullo. london is certainly a pretty city, with structures and monuments that have lasted for ages and have incredible grandeur. i suppose you can't expect any less from an empire, is that what imperialism looks like? below are just some snapshots of south ken.
under a bridge in southwark
i've also done a bit of walking around south kensington which is where the victoria and albert museum as well as the royal albert hall are located. the neighborhood is ridiculously wealthy- as i was walking through the residential areas, i turned a corner, and found a chanel store! it was like oh hullo. london is certainly a pretty city, with structures and monuments that have lasted for ages and have incredible grandeur. i suppose you can't expect any less from an empire, is that what imperialism looks like? below are just some snapshots of south ken.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
WHERE THE ROMANS BATHED
since it's reading week, i took last monday and tuesday to do some traveling to bath and bristol, two cities about three hours west of london. i went with hannah, an associate student majoring in film from johns hopkins who is in two of my film classes. bath was quite pretty, small town with roman architecture and cute old people. there's a university there, but the parts we went to were mostly frequented by tourists. we left early monday morning and arrived about noon. we had lunch in the oldest house of bath at sally lunn's (known for her buns), took a free tour, went to the fashion museum, checked into our hostel, wandered a bit, and had dinner at the raven, best pub i've been to yet (i really liked their house brew and our bartender was really friendly and had lived in the states).
the one on the right was our tour guide, he wasn't the most informative of tour guides, but he certainly was the sweetest old man. whenever we had to cross the street, he would give detailed instructions on how to do so! and he would talk at length about the shutters of the houses we passed by.
we walked past many narrow streets
leather and lace alexander mcqueen dress at the fashion museum
in our wandering, we came across the riverside
we stayed in bath until tuesday morning, during which we visited bath's main attraction, the roman baths, and the abbey next to it.
as we were having our breakfast, there was a cute old woman looking at meat of the butcher shop across the hostel
steam from the springs
abbey
we went to nearby bristol for the rest of the day, had lunch at a pub by the harbour, and then visited arnolfini, their contemporary art center. it had two exhibitions ongoing, one was photography on '70s american culture with quotes accompanying the images. i liked their education center and bookshop, which stocked a typography magazine that i wanted to buy but was too expensive (18 pounds). there are still many churches that remain despite bombing from WWII, we passed a few just wandering. there wasn't too much else to do, so we left soon after.
i suppose the weather was warm enough for ice cream! taken from the second floor of arnolfini.
during the last two days, i've been mostly resting and reading. last night, i cried in my sleep for the first time! my uncle had died in my dream, but i think i was more saddened by the idea of his dying than his actual death. in my semi-conscious state, i felt tears falling on my face and pain in my chest. perhaps it was caused by the metatonin i took that night...the experience has made me wary of sleep for the time being.
i heard back from the lang center and got a S2A2 grant to work at a nonprofit this summer!!!!! i can't decide whether to look for organizations in london or new york city. at this point, it really depends on whether i'd be able to start working at a nonprofit early spring and how closely their summer programs would coincide with the project idea i proposed in my grant application. i don't know how hard i want to look for an organization here, knowing that there's a new summer photography program with young women of color that's happening in new york city. if i stayed in london, i would have to find housing and would have hardly enough money to enjoy citylife. WHAT TO DO.
the one on the right was our tour guide, he wasn't the most informative of tour guides, but he certainly was the sweetest old man. whenever we had to cross the street, he would give detailed instructions on how to do so! and he would talk at length about the shutters of the houses we passed by.
we walked past many narrow streets
leather and lace alexander mcqueen dress at the fashion museum
in our wandering, we came across the riverside
we stayed in bath until tuesday morning, during which we visited bath's main attraction, the roman baths, and the abbey next to it.
as we were having our breakfast, there was a cute old woman looking at meat of the butcher shop across the hostel
steam from the springs
abbey
we went to nearby bristol for the rest of the day, had lunch at a pub by the harbour, and then visited arnolfini, their contemporary art center. it had two exhibitions ongoing, one was photography on '70s american culture with quotes accompanying the images. i liked their education center and bookshop, which stocked a typography magazine that i wanted to buy but was too expensive (18 pounds). there are still many churches that remain despite bombing from WWII, we passed a few just wandering. there wasn't too much else to do, so we left soon after.
i suppose the weather was warm enough for ice cream! taken from the second floor of arnolfini.
during the last two days, i've been mostly resting and reading. last night, i cried in my sleep for the first time! my uncle had died in my dream, but i think i was more saddened by the idea of his dying than his actual death. in my semi-conscious state, i felt tears falling on my face and pain in my chest. perhaps it was caused by the metatonin i took that night...the experience has made me wary of sleep for the time being.
i heard back from the lang center and got a S2A2 grant to work at a nonprofit this summer!!!!! i can't decide whether to look for organizations in london or new york city. at this point, it really depends on whether i'd be able to start working at a nonprofit early spring and how closely their summer programs would coincide with the project idea i proposed in my grant application. i don't know how hard i want to look for an organization here, knowing that there's a new summer photography program with young women of color that's happening in new york city. if i stayed in london, i would have to find housing and would have hardly enough money to enjoy citylife. WHAT TO DO.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
COOKING AND FOWL GESTURING
with the help of adrian's mum, an impressive six pieces were cut from the carcass! the slow-roasted lemon and thyme chicken took awhile, but not as long as the film we were watching with jack nicholson being a hater and his gay neighbor crying all the time.
we had quite a feast, wine and yummy dessert to go with. sadly it seemed to have upset adrian's body the next day, feel better soon!
we had quite a feast, wine and yummy dessert to go with. sadly it seemed to have upset adrian's body the next day, feel better soon!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
AN AUTUMN AFTERNOON
film society screened "an autumn afternoon," an ozu film released in 1962. i had only seen "tokyo story" before, when i was in hong kong and borrowed it from frankie since he's obsessed with the director and possesses his entire collection. i still remember some shots so well! beautifully made film. "an autumn afternoon" was wonderful, it carries similar themes of nostalgia and acquiescence. the tone is bittersweet and the tempo is slow. i had a bit of wine before going, to calm my nerves and allow for full immersion. the story is of an elder man whose wife had passed away and whom lives with his son and daughter. he fills his time working and drinking with his old schoolmates. as his daughter has already approached the age of marriage (~24), he decides to find a husband for her despite not having anyone else to take care of him in his old age. he earnestly goes about arranging a marriage for her and by the end, she is sent off. not much is spoken throughout the film, but the love he has for her is quite plain. the viewer never meets the husband, the shot above is the last one sees of the daughter. the father spends the night of the wedding drinking with his eldest son before going home. the house is much quieter and lonelier. the film ends with a long shot through a dark hall corridor with him pouring a glass of water from a teapot, his body wavering but ever so steady.
there were about 7 or 8 people at the screening, i talked to another associate/exchange student (also from cali, they're all from cali) who was more familiar with ozu's work before the screening. he suggested early spring, so i'll probably see that next week since it's reading week. i wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone after the screening though, it made me incredibly sad and it resonated in such a personal way that i didn't really feel like relating it to anyone else. part of me just wanted to keep it for myself.
Monday, February 11, 2008
OXFORD ONWARD
after feeling mostly emotionally exhausted and uninspired last month due to disappointment with queen mary and internship searching, i've promised myself to practice some self-discipline and get my life together. i've been eating at odd hours, sleeping more than a decent amount, watching american television online, and generally wasting time. it's been a month so the excuse of adjusting is really no longer applicable!
i've been happier these days, chatting with friends who are also abroad has made me not feel so alone in my experiences. last weekend i visited joey at oxford and seeing the life he's made for himself there has given me some hope. it felt so good being there, i miss the passion and rigor of academia! oxford has students who mostly BIKE, gets amazing speakers, hosts exciting conferences, has beautiful libraries, invites a multitude of bookstores and cafes, etcetc. such a contrast to queen mary and mile end. you can see from the fotos i last posted. i actually had a nightmare about mile end in which it was past a certain time and everyone was afraid to walk the streets even though we had to get home. i had to hide under a cape to get back, it's still unclear to me how that cape was supposed to make me safe. also. students here hate thinking. and attending class. last week, there were about six students who showed up to one of my seminars that most of us had NEVER seen before. we're approaching reading week, so i suppose they thought it was about time to start going to class. right.
anyway, the weather's been improving and there was sun this weekend! people reading along a square in oxford.
tomorrow i'm seeing a silk string quartet at the SOAS brunei gallery with adrian as part of the chinese new year programming, should be good! on wednesday, film society is screening ozu's last film an autumn afternoon. thursday, favela chic is having swap-a-rama razzmatazz during which you can swap whatever article of the clothing you're wearing with other people. the pictures i've seen are quite amusing, i'd prefer to observe than partake, but you must if you go. i'll give this a think later in the week (instructors are always telling us to "have a think," approp. to use in this context??). and friday there's a late night screening of daft punk's electroma at the institute of contemporary art. there are copious amounts to do in london. only issue is finding people to do them with!
i've been happier these days, chatting with friends who are also abroad has made me not feel so alone in my experiences. last weekend i visited joey at oxford and seeing the life he's made for himself there has given me some hope. it felt so good being there, i miss the passion and rigor of academia! oxford has students who mostly BIKE, gets amazing speakers, hosts exciting conferences, has beautiful libraries, invites a multitude of bookstores and cafes, etcetc. such a contrast to queen mary and mile end. you can see from the fotos i last posted. i actually had a nightmare about mile end in which it was past a certain time and everyone was afraid to walk the streets even though we had to get home. i had to hide under a cape to get back, it's still unclear to me how that cape was supposed to make me safe. also. students here hate thinking. and attending class. last week, there were about six students who showed up to one of my seminars that most of us had NEVER seen before. we're approaching reading week, so i suppose they thought it was about time to start going to class. right.
anyway, the weather's been improving and there was sun this weekend! people reading along a square in oxford.
tomorrow i'm seeing a silk string quartet at the SOAS brunei gallery with adrian as part of the chinese new year programming, should be good! on wednesday, film society is screening ozu's last film an autumn afternoon. thursday, favela chic is having swap-a-rama razzmatazz during which you can swap whatever article of the clothing you're wearing with other people. the pictures i've seen are quite amusing, i'd prefer to observe than partake, but you must if you go. i'll give this a think later in the week (instructors are always telling us to "have a think," approp. to use in this context??). and friday there's a late night screening of daft punk's electroma at the institute of contemporary art. there are copious amounts to do in london. only issue is finding people to do them with!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
SOAS ALAS
adrian brought me to soas commons before we left for a talk at british film institute on jia zhangke's "cultural revolution." my disapointment in the queen mary experience has been lingering in my mind and heart for some time now. i'm trying to make the most of it, but seeing how the grass is greener (figuratively and literally!) on the soas side does not help. i'm glad he took me to see it though! met his friend rachel who started telling me about singing practices from india and how they differ from all that she's learned in her previous western training. she also mentioned that students in soas tend to be older than other uni students b/c they take gap years off. people there seem so much more interesting.
then we hopped on a bus to southbank for the talk with tony rayns (who writes for sight and sound and has done extensive interviews with wong kar wai), chris berry (who's written two books on chinese cinema and countless articles that i've come across through jstor), and david sin (former curator for institute of contemporary art, distributor of jia zhangke's work). the audience was a fairly diverse mix and there were interesting questions asked. at one point it crossed my mind that i would've been totally immersed in chinese film culture and would've had the time of my life had i decided to study abroad in beijing (recalling the pitzer program and conversations with bizzy and becket). orrrr maybe not.
tomorrow i'm meeting alum zoe, curator at the virginia and albert museum. cooking dinner for 360, district care group of chinese congregation in london (ccil, church i've been attending). possibly seeing black kids around king's cross at monto water rats.
friday, i've a film sequence analysis due and then i'm off to oxford to visit joey for the weekend! though i plan to be back for whatever public chinese new year celebrations are happening. i will probably be stuffing my face that entire day.
then we hopped on a bus to southbank for the talk with tony rayns (who writes for sight and sound and has done extensive interviews with wong kar wai), chris berry (who's written two books on chinese cinema and countless articles that i've come across through jstor), and david sin (former curator for institute of contemporary art, distributor of jia zhangke's work). the audience was a fairly diverse mix and there were interesting questions asked. at one point it crossed my mind that i would've been totally immersed in chinese film culture and would've had the time of my life had i decided to study abroad in beijing (recalling the pitzer program and conversations with bizzy and becket). orrrr maybe not.
tomorrow i'm meeting alum zoe, curator at the virginia and albert museum. cooking dinner for 360, district care group of chinese congregation in london (ccil, church i've been attending). possibly seeing black kids around king's cross at monto water rats.
friday, i've a film sequence analysis due and then i'm off to oxford to visit joey for the weekend! though i plan to be back for whatever public chinese new year celebrations are happening. i will probably be stuffing my face that entire day.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
COOKING DISASTAH NUMBA TWO
spent my saturday afternoon with flatmate rosie and her friend rain who goes to art school in london. we went to check out autograph abp at their new space in Rivington Place, a publicly shared art space. unfortunately their floor was closed but we got to see some cuban art on the lower floors. i quite liked the building's design. its look varies from different perspectives, website sez the pattern's influenced by a sowei mask from sierra leone. we also stopped by white cube that was exhibiting photographs from a series of full moon landscapes. disapointing experience, i already wasn't too impressed by the work and the lighting was terribly awkward. there were quite a few cafes in the area so we quickly found ourselves settling in one, it was cozy and decorated like a living room of someone's home. got back and spent quality time on the interweb!
soo tonight's cooking went horribly wrong. this time it wasn't the food. i had shrimp noodles with egg and brussel sprouts, but forgot to turn off the stove after frying the egg. this is the second time i've melted plastic on that stove.
THIS IS WHY ELECTRIC STOVES SHOULD NOT EXIST
i suppose now i have an excuse to get a wok instead
soo tonight's cooking went horribly wrong. this time it wasn't the food. i had shrimp noodles with egg and brussel sprouts, but forgot to turn off the stove after frying the egg. this is the second time i've melted plastic on that stove.
THIS IS WHY ELECTRIC STOVES SHOULD NOT EXIST
i suppose now i have an excuse to get a wok instead
Saturday, February 2, 2008
LONG WEEK
so the hunt continues. i've been sending cover letters and my cv/resume all over london, and i think i'm just beginning to resign myself to the reality that i will not hear back from most of those places. this should hopefully make the process less painful though it may crush all the excitement and enthusiasm that youth has given me. i went to my kaplan audition (at which there were two nyu students of the four us, nyu kids are everywhere!!!!!) and was told the next day that i didn't get to the interview round, oh wellz BUT i did hear back from Autograph ABP, an international photographic arts agency in hoxton (east london), i'm still waiting for a reply from the curator to advise me on any "invigilation opportunities."
yesterday i did two presentations and sent in an application to women's media group. by the end of it, it was really nice to have some time for myself. weather's been getting better, there's sun today!! my disposition is too dependent on the weather, so i am seriously considering light therapy. well not really, but some people swear by it. spring just needs to arrive like now.
p.s. there's been an addition to this blog (see right), i'll be posting titles of songs that i listen on repeat for as long as my ears can take at a time
yesterday i did two presentations and sent in an application to women's media group. by the end of it, it was really nice to have some time for myself. weather's been getting better, there's sun today!! my disposition is too dependent on the weather, so i am seriously considering light therapy. well not really, but some people swear by it. spring just needs to arrive like now.
p.s. there's been an addition to this blog (see right), i'll be posting titles of songs that i listen on repeat for as long as my ears can take at a time
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